No Guarantees: Remembering MDY

Perhaps it's because I'm still quite young. Maybe it's because I live in Ukraine. It's possible that it's because I went to Hope College, which could basically be Lake Woebegone, for all intensive purposes. There is a certain expectation that things will always stay the same, and the people that I met who touched me while I was at Hope will go on living and stay in Holland, MI forever. This expectation, however is in vain as no one can live forever, and eventually we must all grow up.

Yesterday, my college mentor, Mary DeYoung passed away after a quick 3 week battle with cancer. I am in shock as I write this; 3 weeks is such a short amount of time and I didn't even realize that Mary was diagnosed with cancer! I think what's the most shocking about it is that it's been 2 1/2 years since I've had the opportunity to see Mary and her husband, Steve. Time seems to be life's most precious gift, and it's something that I am beginning to learn not to take for granted.

I first met Mary when I was on a mission trip with the Third Reformed Church group, the summer after my first year of college. We went to Brooklyn for one week on a bus and I remember the laughter, joking, guidance when dealing with students in the VBS, and Mary's avid bridge and euchre skills. Euchre games played with Mary can only be described as EPIC, and she was so good, she always managed to steal at least one of my turns to deal!

My friendship with Mary grew as Third Reformed Church became my church home and family in Holland. The summer after my sophomore year of college, Mary and Steve became my stand-in parents as my biological parents spent the summer in CO taking care of my grandmother. Mary, Steve and I went to Camp Fowler for another trip with TRC, driving through Canada and tasting some wine on our way home. In fact, the people at the border didn't realize that I was well of age, and asked me if my parents knew where I was, worried that the DeYoungs may have kidnapped me. We all got many laughs out of that one later!

During my junior year of college, I enrolled in Mary's Math for Elementary Teachers class, since I was in a bachelors of music education program. It was not a required course, but I enrolled because Mary was teaching it. Through this course, I saw what it looks like to teach through the lens of problem solving. Mary always used to write story problems with her initials, MDY, and many of her students knew her as MDY. I have NEVER enjoyed math. I would lie to you if I said that I enjoyed it now. However, because of Mary's class, I am no longer afraid of math, and will never fear mathematics again!

My friendship with Mary continued to grow as Mary was one of the spearheaders of a vocational exploration trip in Kenya, which included 23 people spanning the ages 10-70! 6 participants in the trip were Hope College students, exploring what it might be like to be a missionary volunteer teacher, and what it might be like to teach abroad. It was on this trip that I first started to consider a life outside of the United States, and the trip would never have happened without Mary. I also turned 21 on this vacation, and our group was able to celebrate together.

Here are Mary and I in Kenya, while we toast to my 21st Birthday. Mary's husband, Steve sent this to me last night and I am remembering the time we all had together.

Mary became my "official" mentor for the Hope College Pew Society during my final year at Hope. Together, we read and discussed life, decision making, and thought about what it means to age gracefully. I think it's safe to say that Mary aged gracefully, with humor and spunk never leaving her personality. I have a model in Mary of what aging gracefully means, even through ups and downs.

I am very sad today. I am grieving the loss of a dear teacher, mentor, friend and maternal figure in my life, and also the time that I haven't seen her in the last few years. However, I am choosing to celebrate Mary and the amazing influence that she had over me and others, and the beautiful life devoted to serving others and teaching mathematics that she led. Most importantly, I know that Mary is rejoicing in Heaven today with her Creator, and all the other saints. I can't grieve too much when I know that she is there.

I imagine that many of us have Marys in our lives that we often take for granted. I would challenge you to find those people, seek them out, and communicate to them what an amazing influence they have been to you. Mary, you were a guiding light in my life and you will always be remembered!

Here are Steve and Mary and I when I graduated in 2007.